Behavior modification/adjustment includes both reinforcing adaptive ("good") behaviors, as well as discouraging maladaptive ("not good") behaviors.
With this definition, it's clear that every parent experiences the desire to modify their child's behavior at some time or another
As caregivers, reward systems are the main tool we have for guiding children to make good choices.
Immediate Reward Systems for Children Under 3 Years Old
In children younger than 3 years old, their brains require an immediate response to their action in order to make a connection and learn.
Use the ASL sign for "more" and Daddy smiles, says "good job" and gives you more of what you want.
Say "mama" when you see Mommy and she smiles and hugs you.
Touch something hot and it causes immediate pain.
Pull the dog's tail and it barks loudly which is scary.
Bite your friend at school and the teacher sternly tells you "no hitting" with an unhappy look on their face.
The difficult part about teaching a child in this age group is that it requires the caregiver to both witness the behavior in the moment and also provide immediate feedback. That's a tall order for a busy parent!
If the child bites their friend now, and later tonight you tell them that was a bad choice, too much time has passed for their brain to make the connection.
Delayed Reward Systems for Children Over 3 Years Old
By 3 years of age the brains of most children are developing the ability to connect what they do now with a delayed response that happens later in time.
Although they still learn through immediate cause and effect, it's no longer required for learning to occur.
This developmental milestone is extremely useful because it creates opportunities for teaching and learning that don't require a caregiver to provide immediate feedback.
These "Delayed Reward Systems" give us the ability to reinforce adaptive behaviors over a longer period of time (e.g. half a day, the whole day, or overnight).
When you think about it, most of the goals we pursue in life are essentially variations of delayed reward systems.
Get home in time for curfew to show my parents they can trust me, and they will decide to make my curfew later in the future.
Study now so I'll eventually get into the college I want, in order to have the career I want in the future.
Work hard on the projects I'm given at work, in order to achieve promotions and work my way up in the future.
Eat healthy and exercise now, so I can live a longer, happier life.
Sticker Chart and [Insert Behavior] Rules
The Sticker Chart is the classic delayed reward system for behavior modification in children.
Please see our resource center article for full details on how to create a sticker chart to guide your child's behavior.
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